Did You Know That Steven Seagal Released A Dancehall Song In 2004 Titled "Strut" In Which He Sings In A Fake Jamaican Accent About "Wanting Da Poonani"?

I don't even know where to begin with this.

Steven Seagal is quite the enigma huh?

Action movie superstar in the late 80s and 90s. 

Now a Russian citizen recruited by Putin to "train Russian soldiers in the martial arts".

Marca-  Seagal, who became a Russian citizen in 2016, is a seventh-dan black belt in aikido, as well as being the chief instructor within the Russian Federation of this martial art since 2018.

"The young people I saw today have a very big potential. We need to open more such centres to develop that potential. It is important that the development of aikido progresses at a faster pace," Seagal told Russia's TASS news agency.

Seagal has never hidden his support for Russian President Vladimir Putin, whom he has called "one of the greatest world leaders, if not the greatest leader alive today". Putin recently awarded him the Order of Friendship.

It's not my call to make, but I think this is the definition of treason if I'm not mistaken?

Meeting with Venezuelan dictators and  ̶s̶u̶c̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶d̶i̶c̶k̶ presenting them with a samurai sword for heroism is definitely treason.

But now it seems, thanks to the internet, which never forgets, we can add fake Jamaican dancehall artist to Seagal's impressive resume as well.

Listen to this garbage, and read the lyrics below.

Girl what you really want all night

Me want the buddy, make me feel nice

Boy what you really want all night

Me want the poonani, see for make nice

She want the buddy

Him want the poonani

And me know it nice


When the girls start to strut

you could look at her but you shouldn't do that

Think about just that because her clothes are just as pretty

They're not just to cover her kitty


Girl what you really want all night

Me want the buddy, make me feel nice

Boy what you really want all night

Me want the poonani, see for make nice

Baby the way you waik is so hot

Let's have a shot of rum

Then I can make you come with me

To the ocean

That would be phat

You can be my bow cat

Nice ital breeze

Bring you to your knees

We're jammin

("We're jammin" haha)

Can you even imagine how fast this guy would be cancelled in today's world for trying to pull this stunt in 2023? The different outrage police groups would be fighting amongst themselves and climbing over one another to claim his head. 

As much as I dislike Seagal now, I will always have a soft spot in my heart for the guy because I saw my first set of boobs ever thanks to him. And I'm guessing many of you reading this can also relate. 

I was at my uncle's house, I had to be 8 or 9 years old. He always let me watch shit that was so violent I'd have nightmares for weeks. Like Terminator, and Robo Cop. This time he put on Under Siege. A truly great 90's movie if we're being honest. But there I was watching a U.S. Naval ship gets taken over by a group of terrorists who posed as a rock band booked for a party aboard the boat, only to be thwarted by a decorated former Navy Seal played by Seagal when an angel by the name of Erica Elianiak appeared, popping out of the birthday cake at the party on the aircraft carrier, completely topless. Tasteful. But completely out of nowhere and damn near perfect. 

VERY NSFW (yet somehow on youtube?) Enjoy. 

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